"Growing up." A simple phrase that is full of fear yet sounds exciting.
When I was younger, I wanted to grow up so badly. I wanted to be an adult so nobody would boss me around and I can go home as late as I could. But as each day goes by, I stopped wishing for it. I can't boldly ask for something that I want. I can't be dependent on people around me anymore. Most of all, whenever I fall, I have to stand up on my own. I have to defend whatever I say, 'else it might just consume me.
However, growing up isn't really all that bad. I began to realise this world is actually a beautiful place. I knew the other earthlings from the other side of the world (and Singapore!) I came to know how blessed I actually am to have a roof over my head, to have such caring parents. When I was younger, I have never realised nor even appreciated for such little things.


Then again, I became more self-conscious about myself. From my looks to actions, I constantly compare myself with others. As a result, my self-esteem has deteriorated. I hide inside my limitations, afraid that I'd get laughed whenever I try. During my adolescence, I'm constantly tired. "Torn apart, Insecure, Really faking my smile, Extremely sad and Drowning in my tears." People disappoint me and I blame myself. I'd get my heart broken. Many times I lost faith to humanity and let the already-plagued society define who I aren't.


But! Despite every crap, it is two things that kept me adrift. Hope and love. Whenever I needed a listening ear or advice it would be just a phone call away. There would always be that one or two who wouldn't judge me and mean it. (I'm sure there are for you, you just gotta find!) And there's hope. "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sing the tune without the words but never stops at all." It's like the rechargeable battery to my almost-dying soul. I may fail occasionally, but hope allows me to retrace my steps and remember every place I saw it last.


Every sadness or failure I went through, are stepping stones of life. Even if I have the chance to erase them from my memory, I wouldn't. Because they make me who I am today. I do have some regrettable moments, but they made my life more interesting and adventurous. Moving on and letting go are the worst advices but with time, I grew accustomed to doing it.
At the age of 15, I begin to realise the beauty of dreams. I became a full-time dreamer. (And still!) That was also when I came to know how powerful the word "believe" is. Having dreams gave me strength to keep on moving forward. I dreamed many dreams, sticked to them, went forward and tried my best to make them real. "Dreams are like stars. They seem so faraway, yet never too far to reach."
I also believe in miracles too. "Miracles happen to those who believe in them." - B. Berenson. Yes, they exist. You just gotta believe. Don't wait for miracles, expect them to happen to you!


I have many wants and ambitions, though I haven't really decided what I really wanna become yet. I've only wanted to be a part of the creative industry..gah. As for now, I try to make each day fulfilling (as much as possible) because time waits for no man. I somewhat screwed my body clock and sleep later than 12am occasionally. (When I was younger I thought sleeping late like that was taboo, but now who cares). I hated sleep (though I would like to have a power nap or two) as it wastes time. Imagine all the things I could do within the long hours of unconsciousness.


Now, I'm 17. And I'm still growing up. The future holds the unknown. My future will be reaped with what I'm sowing in the present, as long as I do my best in everything. If I had the chance to meet my 15 years old self, I would tell her not to worry (and procrastinate too much!). I'm ready to embrace whatever path I'm walking in. Tides I may face, but who know there might be blessings in disguise. Nothing happens by coincidence, there's a meaning behind everything. It's so good to be alive and be able to feel. Stop everything you do and take a deep breath once in a while. Growing up is a pain but trust me, you'll find your destination while you doing so. You'll enjoy the journey without knowing it. (･∀･｡)

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."
- Marcus Aurelius

Labels: inflections, life, self, update

"Growing up." A simple phrase that is full of fear yet sounds exciting.
When I was younger, I wanted to grow up so badly. I wanted to be an adult so nobody would boss me around and I can go home as late as I could. But as each day goes by, I stopped wishing for it. I can't boldly ask for something that I want. I can't be dependent on people around me anymore. Most of all, whenever I fall, I have to stand up on my own. I have to defend whatever I say, 'else it might just consume me.
However, growing up isn't really all that bad. I began to realise this world is actually a beautiful place. I knew the other earthlings from the other side of the world (and Singapore!) I came to know how blessed I actually am to have a roof over my head, to have such caring parents. When I was younger, I have never realised nor even appreciated for such little things.


Then again, I became more self-conscious about myself. From my looks to actions, I constantly compare myself with others. As a result, my self-esteem has deteriorated. I hide inside my limitations, afraid that I'd get laughed whenever I try. During my adolescence, I'm constantly tired. "Torn apart, Insecure, Really faking my smile, Extremely sad and Drowning in my tears." People disappoint me and I blame myself. I'd get my heart broken. Many times I lost faith to humanity and let the already-plagued society define who I aren't.


But! Despite every crap, it is two things that kept me adrift. Hope and love. Whenever I needed a listening ear or advice it would be just a phone call away. There would always be that one or two who wouldn't judge me and mean it. (I'm sure there are for you, you just gotta find!) And there's hope. "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sing the tune without the words but never stops at all." It's like the rechargeable battery to my almost-dying soul. I may fail occasionally, but hope allows me to retrace my steps and remember every place I saw it last.


Every sadness or failure I went through, are stepping stones of life. Even if I have the chance to erase them from my memory, I wouldn't. Because they make me who I am today. I do have some regrettable moments, but they made my life more interesting and adventurous. Moving on and letting go are the worst advices but with time, I grew accustomed to doing it.
At the age of 15, I begin to realise the beauty of dreams. I became a full-time dreamer. (And still!) That was also when I came to know how powerful the word "believe" is. Having dreams gave me strength to keep on moving forward. I dreamed many dreams, sticked to them, went forward and tried my best to make them real. "Dreams are like stars. They seem so faraway, yet never too far to reach."
I also believe in miracles too. "Miracles happen to those who believe in them." - B. Berenson. Yes, they exist. You just gotta believe. Don't wait for miracles, expect them to happen to you!


I have many wants and ambitions, though I haven't really decided what I really wanna become yet. I've only wanted to be a part of the creative industry..gah. As for now, I try to make each day fulfilling (as much as possible) because time waits for no man. I somewhat screwed my body clock and sleep later than 12am occasionally. (When I was younger I thought sleeping late like that was taboo, but now who cares). I hated sleep (though I would like to have a power nap or two) as it wastes time. Imagine all the things I could do within the long hours of unconsciousness.


Now, I'm 17. And I'm still growing up. The future holds the unknown. My future will be reaped with what I'm sowing in the present, as long as I do my best in everything. If I had the chance to meet my 15 years old self, I would tell her not to worry (and procrastinate too much!). I'm ready to embrace whatever path I'm walking in. Tides I may face, but who know there might be blessings in disguise. Nothing happens by coincidence, there's a meaning behind everything. It's so good to be alive and be able to feel. Stop everything you do and take a deep breath once in a while. Growing up is a pain but trust me, you'll find your destination while you doing so. You'll enjoy the journey without knowing it. (･∀･｡)

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."
- Marcus Aurelius

Labels: inflections, life, self, update